Fear

A driving force for some, and a hinderance for others. Fear is, and remains, a catalyst for many; an emotion difficult to cope. It looms above our heads, inside our hearts, and deep in our stomachs causing horrendous psychosomatic symptoms to play on hypochondriacs’ imaginations. Never a dull moment in a day dashed with fear.

I know I struggle with fear. Fear of the future. The unknown. The possibilities and options in life. Fear of failure. Even fear of success. It molds itself and changes based on a person’s personality, insecurities, and other mental traits. Now wonder JK Rowling’s spell Riddikulus banished the looming, fearful, chameleon Boggart. Though this small literary example resonates a powerful message: we have nothing to fear but fear itself (gotta love an FDR quote). Fears are okay, but fearing your fear is not.

Realizing your fears as valid, and then ridiculous, can help.

We all have fears. They are all valid fears. From fears of spiders to enclosed spaces, even butterflies (though one person mentioned phobias are different). Regardless, fears are something to not be ashamed of. And to never hide away. They are something everyone should admit to. It’s something I need to learn, and practice.

My biggest fears are the inability to take care of myself, die with many regrets, expressing myself, and, currently, moving forward in my life. I think the first two are many fears people share. Hell I think all of the aforementioned fears are shared by millions. Though the one of personal acceptance is difficult. I’ve always seen myself as an adaptable person. Or a person who stays under the radar until I know others first. However, I am afraid of expressing myself too much. Will I not be accepted for who I am? Hated by many? A people pleaser so to speak. All the times I didn’t push myself into thoughtful self expression or pushing myself outside my comfort zone. I may test the water with my toe, but I never jumped into a new challenge.

I know some may say, you moved to a different country and lived there for 3 years! How can you be afraid of trivial things? And to answer that question: I’ve had help. I received so much support and help from welcoming coworkers, even some friends in Korea. They helped me in a bind, took care of me, and I am forever grateful. Now, in the states, I feel like I have to pull myself by my own bootstraps. And I am so totally not prepared. But I think it’s time to change.

I am a kind, bubbly personality who enjoys certain quirks in life. And I can express myself anyway I want. Time to practice what I preach, right? So what can I do to actually better myself towards my overall goals? This question needs to be considered.

I mean everyone has there own mountains to climb. Some more severe than others, but all still feel the same. The giant boulder needing a push up the steep mountain until the peak. Only then can we experience true relief, celebrate our victory, and bask at the glorious view. Then another mountain forms, another obstacle in our wake. And we can pull up our sleeves, ready to tackle and climb a new challenge. A never ending fight to strive and thrive.

It’s time for me to pick my mountain, push that boulder, and not give up half way. I climbed Mt. Fuji over night (I mean that counts for something right?).

Stay humble. Work hard. Be kind.

JC

 

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3 thoughts on “Fear

  1. Such a candid post! I can relate to this – fear has been a driving force in my life as well. Currently I am in the process of completing a book on fear. All the best in your journey! You’re right, we have nothing to fear but fear itself 🙂

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